SGRoA: Forever Knight, S03 E16: The Human Factor

THIS IS IT. THIS IS THE ONE. We finally will put to rest the “Is Janette dead?” question once and for all. (She totally is, you guys. Just like Screed.) LET’S RECAP.

Some dadbod in boxers is watching TV in…a hotel room, I think. It sounds like cartoons. “Nancy” is in the shower, and he tells her to hurry up just before there’s a knock at the door. He opens it. A woman says, in French, “Hello, Mario.”

“What do you want?” Continue reading

RiTS: Dracula, The Un-Dead, Chapter 2

Ugh, you guys, this book. This fucking book.

But I said I’d do it, and I’m going to do it. For you. Because I love you. And because I want you to feel my pain.

So we open right where we left off, with Seward staring at Bathory. He’s all “entranced” by her beauty, which includes her eyes being Continue reading

SGRoA: Forever Knight S03 E15: The Games Vampires Play

You know, like skee-ball and jacks and shit. Right? Vampires play, like, Uno and Cards Against Humanity? Hee. Against Humanity. That’s a good one. Let’s recap!

We open with some spectacularly shitty virtual reality. Like, the game effects in this episode are just regular footage overlaid with something that makes it look…drawn, I guess is what they’re going for? Like that weird Keanu Reeves movie that came out a while back, where they filmed the movie and then drew over it, so everything was Continue reading

RitS: Dracula, The Un-Dead, Prologue and Chapter One

All right, Snowflakes. I needed a little break from Nick and the gang; blogging about them twice a week was wearing on me. Variety, after all, is the spice of life, and this site was getting a little bland, don’t you think?

Anyway, we’ll be looking at Dracula, The Un-Dead by Dacre Stoker – and yes, he’s related to Bram – and Ian Holt. I saw this book described as “the worst book ever” on a comment thread over at Trout Nation, and I had to buy it. But because I am also the worst ever, I knew I would make you share my pain. :) Same rules apply to this recap: I’ll be analyzing the writing as well as summarizing the story, so hopefully we can all learn something. Continue reading

SGRoA: Forever Knight S03 E14: Dead of Night

Why not “Dead of Knight”? I thought this series liked a good pun. I am disappoint.

Let’s get started!

Some caretaker is showing a couple an old Victorian. He says the workmen who were renovating took off after they saw ghosts. The dude says he’ll be redecorating, and orders the caretaker to find him some lights. The woman turns out to be his realtor, and she says that the current owner of the house specifically stipulated that the caretaker comes with it. JerkDude is all, “Like I give a shit. Where is the stupid owner, anyway?” because apparently in Canada, owners have to show houses. Why? Continue reading

RiTS: Forever Knight: A Stirring of Dust, Chapter 15 – THE END!

Well, Snowflakes, we’ve done it. We’ve made it through one whole Forever Knight book. I hope you’ve enjoyed the recaps, because there are two more of these things sitting on my desk, as well as a sequel to Dracula that I might do next, just to cleanse the palate a little.

I hope you enjoy this final recap!

A page and a half to tell us Nick and Nat are in an empty hotel ballroom!

OK, guys, I will try not to complain about this much, since I spent so much time on it last week, but jeez. I get why most of this exposition is here – Nick wants a big space for the showdown, he memorized the layout of the hotel/convention center on an assignment last year, the hotel keeps the security cameras off unless the space is in use – but do you see how little space that took me? Even if I wanted to write it correctly, it wouldn’t take 500 words, my god.

Stahp Continue reading

RiTS: Forever Knight: A Stirring of Dust, Chapter 14

Nick goes back to the precinct, and Reese is all annoyed that Tracy is MIA. He tells Nick there’s a new body at the Hockey Hall of Fame.

keep-calm-and-oh-canada

Nick doesn’t want to go investigate, but instead of just saying he’ll look at it and then not, as usual, he mojos Reese. Not cool, Nick. Not cool. Continue reading

SGRoA: Forever Knight S03 E13: Fever

Snowflakes! I went to Denver Comic Con! IT WAS AWESOME! But I was sad not to see any of you there! Next time, you’ll have to come out and say HI, so I can bitch about Forever Knight to you in person.

Let’s get recapping!

We open in a doctor’s office. Some guy’s T-cell count is holding, and he calls his doctor a lifesaver. She says she’ll see him Thursday, and then goes off to her lab, where a creepy-looking guy is pulling rats out of their cages. She asks why he’s there, and then he drops a rat and grabs her files and runs off. She gives chase, asking why he’s stealing her work, and he throws her down a flight of stairs (by accident), but of course she’s dead and the rat’s gone. Continue reading