Who hopes this episode is all about String Theory? Anyone? Bueller? Just me? Well, okay then, let’s get to it!
Some blonde woman gets off a city bus. She is wearing ALL the 90s, all at once, and as she walks down the street, a Lincoln Town Car comes running at her. It hits her and sends her through a plate-glass window into a boutique window display, then the driver gets out and shoots her. Whoever directed this one decided that we should get reaction shots from all the mannequins.
Snowflakes! Sorry I flaked last week. Like I said, it was a hard week. But today I’m feeling just fine, and it’s been raining for days, so it’s the perfect weather to sit inside and snark on Nick. Let’s get started!
Some sort of street festival is happening. I think. Maybe it’s just a really big drum circle, who knows? Anyway, some cop is out on patrol, and he sees a woman slumped over her steering wheel in an alley. He checks her pulse and she yells something in some weird language, then slumps the other way. He calls in for an ambulance, and while he’s in front of the car, reading her plate, she runs him over. Continue reading
I’m so excited for this one, Snowflakes. Amnesia! Jokes! Nick being something other than whiny and irritating! Let’s get started!
Oh no! Nick’s being wheeled into the ER, no pulse, no breathing (obviously), and a big ol’ head wound. He’s been dead 19 minutes, and the ER team call time of death. Time to notify the ME.
Which, you know, is handy, since it’s Nat, and all. But before she shows up, Tracy and Reese are in the waiting room, and the ER doc notifies them that Nick didn’t make it. Tracy’s crying, saying it’s all her fault, and Reese asks her what happened. She didn’t get a good look at the shooter. Continue reading
You know, they don’t say that at weddings anymore. At least not at any I’ve been to, which include strict Catholic at a Cathedral, wishy-washy Catholic at a church that looks like a hotel conference center, and a secular wedding at a zoo. Also, isn’t this episode about organ harvesting? I’m already confused, and I haven’t even pressed “Play”. So let’s get to it!
Some woman’s getting a tattoo, and she’s squirming a lot. Won’t that, like, screw up the tattoo? Also, it’s on her butt, but the artist is just pushing her underwear to the side. I wouldn’t pay for this, is what I’m saying.
The artist runs out of ink and goes to get some more, and some other dude knocks him out with a tire iron. Then he gropes the woman, and then he knocks her out and stuffs her in the back of a panel truck. Continue reading
Snowflakes! Did you miss me? I’ll be honest, I am still tired from last week. I am eagerly anticipating my paycheck at the end of the month, however: Holy Week is lucrative. Let’s get recapping!
There’s a woman in lingerie on a slab, and someone dressed like a doctor starts cutting her clothes off. Side note: She’s wearing a garter belt over her underwear, which means it’s just for sexytimes. If you wear actual stockings for function, you know the belt goes under the knickers, or you’ll never be able to pee.
Snowflakes! I don’t really have anything to talk about here, because life has been boring lately, but! I do have a recap for you! Let’s get started!
So, the Raven is a strip club now? And it’s amateur night? Lacroix seems awfully happy to proclaim that his customers are going to “reveal their inner selves by GETTING NAKED!”
Snowflakes! I know I owe you a RITS, and I’m going to do double chapters on Friday. I was ill over the weekend, and just couldn’t find the energy to blog. I promise, I’ll do better! Let’s recap!
We’re watching “The Jerry Show”, and the subject is people who have sex with weird shit. Ghosts, etc. One of the guests claims that her boyfriend is a vampire, and the shot pulls out until we see Nat watching this on one of those tiny 90s portable TVs in the lab. And then we’re back in the studio, and Tracy’s in the audience! Continue reading
Snowflakes! It’s 70 degrees here! I can’t even tell you how happy I am to have some spring. I know we’ll have some more snow – probably on Easter, since I bought a new dress that will not work with boots – but hey, for now, I’m enjoying smoking on the patio.
Let’s recap!
A blind woman and her dog are out walking at night. The dog is whining, which is obviously a sound effect, because his tail is wagging. They find a bench and the lady lets him off his leash, presumably so he can get some exercise or poop or something. Do service dogs get trained to poop in the same places, or in, like, a doggie litterbox or something? Hmm. Questions I’ve never thought to ask.
Anyway. The dog is digging around, and two hands come out of the dirt and pull the dog down.
It’s snowing, Snowflakes. I mean, I know it’s snowing in a lot of places, and yes, it snows in Denver, but it’s been snowing like every other day and it hasn’t gotten warm and nothing’s melting. Blech. I need my 50-degree days between snows, okay? I’m used to them!
Anyway. Recaps don’t take snow days – and neither does MiniWinters’s school! – so let’s get to it!
An old man – I want to say Native American, but I believe in Canada it’s First Nations? – is performing a ritual, with chanting and smoke. There seems to be a vision going on? of two First Nations people meeting in the woods, a young man and a young woman. The woman calls the man “Grandfather”, and he ends up dead, just as the old dude does, and this wakes the woman in the vision from the vision? Or it was a dream? Anyway, dude’s dead, and granddaughter is crying in bed. Continue reading
It’s all about coloring today, Snowflakes! Nick will mope about the coloring books available, and Tracy will happily sharpen everyone’s crayons, and Nat will be off doing some experiment with pigments.
Ahh, wouldn’t that be nice? I doubt it, though. Let’s recap!
We open in a club, which has much better music than we usually get in these scenes. Some dude in a Chandler Bing sweater is trying to sell drugs, but his girlfriend doesn’t want to do “business” and starts macking on another dude. Chandler tells her to knock it off, and a third dude pulls a knife on him, because you don’t do business before pleasure. Continue reading
