Snowflakes! I’m late, I know. This week got away from me, and I don’t even know how. I think it’s the weather. This:
has been happening all week. That particular photo is about a mile from my house, yesterday afternoon. It’s not snow, which we got for Memorial Day last year, but snow can’t really kill you in May, so, you know. Half of one, six dozen of the other, as my best friend would say. Recap!
A young couple are walking through the park, discussing porn and Camille Paglia. Aw, I like you crazy kids. Too bad they’re probably going to die, since as they start making out, they hear weird noises and we’re treated to a predator-eye view of them through the trees. They make it to the car okay, but while she’s safely ensconced, he gets attacked by some growling thing.
Don’t make out in horror shows, is what I’m saying, here.
EW. Dude’s been, like, totally dismembered. Nick and Schenke are hanging out in the morgue because Schenke’s avoiding Captain Cohen. He didn’t write up some report because it’s boring, and you know what? I know that feel, Schenke. Too bad it doesn’t work; Cohen calls the lab and has to see them right away.
Some dude from Dublin – Inspector O’Neill – is interested in the case. It’s similar to a 1979 Dublin case, a 1983 Icelandic case, and a 1987 Maine case. Multiple vics in every instance, and this case is the same M.O. O’Neill has Interpol clearance, and Cohen’s opening the case to him. He seems pretty genial, on the surface, but we all know about monster-hunting detectives. Full of secrets.
A junior detective – Hellmann – wants to be on the case. She hasn’t gone out for field work yet, and she presses for inclusion on the case. Cohen leaves it up to Nick, who says sure. You go, Hellmann. Get your career going.
Nick offers to get O’Neill a gun, but O’Neill says he doesn’t think it would be any use in this case. Nick just kind of shrugs at that, which would be a red flag if I were O’Neill, but whatever, I guess. Everybody’s cool with monsters in this episode.
Some jogger in the world’s weirdest white track suit is out for his nightly workout. He stops to take his pulse, and of course is attacked. Too bad. He had a luxurious silver mane he was working under that baseball cap.
This body is drained of blood. O’Neill’s all, “Any ideas on that, NICK?” And Nick’s all, “Um, nope, just looks like the same thing happened last night, right?” He ditches O’Neill to go to The Raven and “get some answers”, which totally doesn’t make O’Neill suspicious at all. Janette totally knows who did it, and she knows his name, but she doesn’t want to tell Nick about it, because she doesn’t want Nick to get involved. She’s scared. And she has a right to be: It’s Jack the Ripper.
Okay, so, remember when I said that I didn’t like it when vampires were always present for every cultural touchstone and knew all the famous people and shit? Yeah. Jack the Ripper is the exception to that rule. I think it’s completely fitting that he’d be a crazy bloodsucker, and I think I’ve liked every undead incarnation of him I’ve seen or read. This is gonna be good. I especially like how terrified Janette is. It’s a nice callback to two episodes ago and her history as a whore, and it really helps tie her character together as a whole person. Nice work, FK writers.
Nat takes the team back to the lab. Hellmann had to go home: her first body made her a little green around the gills. Schenke stops for chilli dogs, and O’Neill takes the opportunity to flirt with Nat and dig for information. “Thanks for the ride; Nick took off in a big, vampire hurry, didn’t he? Too bad he’s allergic to the sun. Does he live alone? Do you all know he’s dead? I’m just going to keep asking questions until Nat breaks in with a story about her relatives in County Cork.” Then he goes off on a tangent about how the Irish believe in all sorts of crap – leprechauns and the bogeyman and vampires. Which freaks Nat right the fuck out, and she almost drives into oncoming traffic just to convince O’Neill that she doesn’t believe in any of those things. ESPECIALLY VAMPIRES.
Back at The Raven, Janette lets slip that even Lacroix feared Jack when HE MADE HIM.
In the flashback, Nick walks in on a poisoned Lacroix and a frantic Janette in some London basement. Lacroix drank from Jack, apparently, and wants Nick to go kill the dude so there’s no chance of him coming over. Nick won’t do it, though. He thinks Lacroix should suffer, and he’s leaving for America tomorrow, anyway.
So this is all Nick’s fault. Finally, something for him to feel guilty about. He wants to stop Jack now, obviously, but Janette says it’s impossible. “You had your chance, and now it’s gone.” Ooh, twist that knife.
O’Neill is drinking in his hotel room, and he opens his drapes to the dawn, then stumbles away from the window, holding his neck. He was bitten by a vampire when he was a child, and holy water stopped the vampirism from getting him completely, but now he’s a pasty Irish Blade with no superpowers.
Nat goes to see Nick and tell him that O’Neill is asking probing questions. Nick doesn’t know if O’Neill knows about him, in particular, but he’s pretty sure O’Neill knows the murderer is a vampire.
At the precinct, O’Neill is doing a good job of mentoring Hellmann, who in turn is shaping up to be a pretty good detective. She’s got a handle on the perp’s profile and is full-speed-ahead, despite her queasiness at the crime scene. Who wants to bet she dies? Yeah, me neither. It’ll just be so depressing when we’re right.
Nick tells Nat it’s Jack, and that he could have stopped him, but didn’t. Nat tries to make him feel better, but it’s half-hearted: even she knows Nick should feel good and guilty about this.
O’Neill takes Hellmann down to the morgue to check out the bodies, but really to check out how she’s handling all this. She’s disturbed by the violence of the crime – as she should be – and O’Neill says that it’ll make her a good detective to remember the emotional impact death can have. Then he gives her a cross to wear – “Day and night!” – and declines the invite to go check out the first crime scene with Nick and Schenke. He says he’s going to follow up with the first vic’s girlfriend, but really he starts digging around in Nick’s desk and finds a matchbook from The Raven.
Where he goes, in his tweed and watch fob, looking ridiculous and asking for information because “I’m a friend of Nick’s.” No one’s biting. (Heh. Biting.) So he attacks a waitress with a cross and gets himself kicked right the fuck out. Janette goes to call Nick, and Lacroix’s standing at the bar. “Make sure he gets here right before sunrise,” he says.
Nick does, of course, and Janette stalls him for a second before admitting that Lacroix’s in the back room. “So this is where you’ve been hiding,” Nick says, and Lacroix fires back, “I don’t hide.” Lacroix fills Nick in on O’Neill’s past and the fact that O’Neill is now a vampire hunter. Lacroix is trying to herd O’Neill into Jack’s arms by planting evidence at the crime scenes that will point to Jack’s hiding place.
At the precinct, Nat’s found the planted evidence – some sort of soybean soil product – and that it’s years old. Hellmann finds an abandoned factory that used to make the stuff and wants to go check it out. Since neither Nick nor O’Neill are available – it being daytime and all – Cohen tells Schenke to go. “And be easy on [Hellmann] when it turns out she’s wrong”, she tells him, and sends them out over Natalie’s protests that a vampire or vampire hunter should be with them.
Schenke and Hellmann split up when they get to the soybean mill, and neither of them has a gun drawn. Oh, guys. Don’t do this to me. I really like Hellmann.
Nat tries, in vain, to get Nick on the phone. Nick’s pacing around The Raven, unable to do anything. O’Neill shows up at the precinct and Nat tells him they need to get down to the soybean mill, and that Nick is on his side. O’Neill’s not convinced of that last part, but he agrees: they have to find Schenke and Hellmann.
As the sun is setting, Schenke and Hellmann are wandering around the mill, separated. Nick tries to get the captain to call them back, but he has no good reason. Lacroix’s all, “Sorry, too late, they’re already dead,” and Nick’s out the door the second the sun sets, hoping Lacroix’s wrong.
Hellmann finds a door with a shiny new chain and padlock keeping it closed, but she suggests they leave anyway. She radios Schenke, he agrees, and she turns to leave – just as the padlock opens.
O’Neill and Nat show up at the mill, but Hellmann’s already going into the now-unlocked room, and they’ll have no idea where to find her. She finds a wooden box – empty – and Jack the Ripper – awake. She runs, and Schenke can’t get her on the radio while she’s trying to lock him back in. She radios back that the killer’s here, but doesn’t run; she waits for the door to get kicked down and then shoots Jack, obviously to no effect. THEN she runs, and screams, and everyone’s looking for her, but Jack finds her first, obviously. Nick’s flying through the air, Jack’s attacking Hellmann, Nat’s looking on helplessly, and O’Neill comes around the corner with Nat’s car and runs Jack down, into the building, and then is trapped in the burning car until Nick rescues him, leaving Jack to burn – to death, we hope – when the car explodes.
Nick’s proven himself to O’Neill, but that won’t bring Hellmann back.
They explain everything to Schenke and the captain by calling on adrenaline and insanity and “Shit’s weird, yo. But it’s definitely not vampires.” Nat tells O’Neill she’d love to study him, and he tells her he hopes they never meet again.
Nick tells Janette he’s in O’Neill’s debt, and he had to save his life. Janette thinks this is a Very Bad Idea, because dude’s a vampire hunter, and they can’t be trusted.
O’Neill goes to sit at Hellmann’s grave, and we think he’s just grieving, but nope. He’s there to kill her, because she came back with fangs. Dude. That is cold-blooded. Janette is right: you can’t be trusted. Damn.
Next week: Not as much action! Nick’s friend is murdered, and he has to find her secretary before the killer strikes again! Sounds boring! Let’s hope there’s room for jokes!
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