GUYS. CAN WE TALK ABOUT NIGEL BENNETT ON THE STRAIN LAST WEEK?! Because he was totally on it.

And as a Nazi no less, neatly wrapping up that plot point from FK. You can’t imagine the noise I made when I saw his name in the credits. Let’s recap!

There’s weightlifting, and steroids, and a lot of incredibly noisy breathing and closeups of eyeballs. Why? No one knows. Also, there’s a developmentally-delayed kid? Or he’s autistic? Anyway, then we cut to filming the wrestling in front of a painted crowd that looks like a backdrop from the Simpsons. Do Canadians not like wrestling?

One of the wrestlers sends the autistic kid to get more towels, and then the kid walks in on him killing the other wrestler. Ah, so autistic kid is our witness. Got it.

Vic is Carl Hilbert – Nitro. He was killed by Henry Ellis – Bulldozer. Of course, Ellis says he “found” the body, not “made” the body. Joey is the autistic kid, and he’s missing. He’s also Ellis’s nephew, and an orphan; Ellis is his guardian.

Joey’s hiding in Nat’s car, and scares the hell out of her when she gets in, so she has the uniforms slam him against the car. He starts crying, and she realizes he’s not all there, and calls off the unis. She takes him back inside to Ellis, and he points out all the wrestlers’ posters on the wall. Bulldozer wears a mask, and Ellis is being awfully helpful, so my guess is he’s being framed – especially since he encourages Joey to tell Nick and Tracy what he saw, and he says he saw Bulldozer hurt Nitro.

They have to hold him – especially because he’s being cagey about where he went when Joey was getting towels, in order to hide his steroid use. And then when all the evidence comes back pointing at him. But who will take care of Joey?

Nat volunteers for the “protective custody” detail, and volunteers Nick, too, when Reese says it has to be a cop. That makes Nick flashback…

…to Fleur’s burial! What?! I don’t remember this at all! Lacroix and Nick are standing in the graveyard, and Lacroix is giving Nick shit about her death. Because, you know, she didn’t have to die at all. Apparently, Fleur asked Nick to take care of her son, and Nick’s going to do it! Why? Lacroix’s right: it’ll end in tragedy.

This may be the first time I’m more interested in the flashback than the main plot.

Nick goes back to the crime scene, as usual, to check things out with his powers. He runs into the janitor, whom he tells to take the night off, so he doesn’t, oh, I don’t know, stomp around the crimescene touching things and contaminating evidence. Nick opens someone’s locker and takes out a Bulldozer uniform.

Joey doesn’t seem to know that Bulldozer and Ellis are the same person. But he does know how to make soup, which is what he’s doing in Nick’s kitchen. Nick mojos the kid to see if Bulldozer said anything to him while he was committing murder, but it doesn’t seem to work, and Joey starts crying. I feel bad for the character, but the actor’s whiny scrunchy-face is annoying as fuck.

Turns out Joey has brain damage from a high fever when he was three, and Nat says that they might get more out of the kid if they give him some vampire blood. Nick doesn’t want to, because they don’t know what it would do and it might only be temporary and it’s not fair to Joey. Nat doesn’t seem to care about any of that, and after Nick goes to bed, she heads right for the fridge – because that’s where she stores her samples of Nick’s blood.

Where do you store your blood?

She decides not to, but after the commercial, she changes her mind. Because of course she does.

Back at the studio/gym/thing, they’re taping a new promo.

Everyone seems to have loved Nitro, and hated Bulldozer. And despite having a bunch of forensic evidence, Nick and Tracy are actually investigating this one like real cops. Bulldozer was also the designated loser, and Nitro was threatening to bring him up on charges to the “wrestling board”, whatever that is.

Back at the loft, Joey’s getting smarter, and helps Nat with her computer woes. She’s trying to email a report to the office, only she says she’s trying to “modem” it over.

Anyway, Joey totes fixes it.

Meanwhile, Nick and Tracy ferret out Ellis’s steroid use, and the fact that it was the reason Nitro was reporting him to the board of the “wrestling association”. Again, whatever that is.

Ellis was only doing it because Joey looked up to him so much, and he wanted to live up to the kid’s expectations. Nick couldn’t possible know what that’s like, so of course he remembers raising Fleur’s kid, Andre. Lacroix comes to visit just as Andre is asking uncomfortable questions about why Nick never eats, and before Lacroix can spoil Nick’s little fantasy world, Nick sends Andre to bed.

Nick says he plans to tell Andre about the vampirism, because it’s more important to Andre who Nick is, not what he is. “Are you certain?” says Lacroix, and leaves.

Nick comes home to Joey “modeming” into the university library, because people on “the chat board” were stupid. God, I love the early internet.

Joey’s reacting to the vampire blood like it’s steroids, complete with roid rage. Because vampires are super-violent, and it’s just, like, in their blood, you know? It’s who they are. They can’t help it. Nick’s so fucking noble for not being like the rest of them.

Joey goes into the precinct to give his statement. Bulldozer was wearing non-uniform gloves, and he wouldn’t talk to Joey. Joey also remembers seeing Ellis injecting the roids, but he doesn’t mention that.

Nat takes him on a tour, and just lets him wander into the cooler and take a look at Nitro’s body. While he does, he gives a soliloquy on how stupid it is to do drugs, like Ellis does.

Nick goes to the studio/gym/thing and collars the guy selling drugs. He calls it in to Reese with the manager/trainer/director in the room, and the MTD insists that this is a drug-free sport. To which Reese says, “Yeah, and blue pigs whistle Dixie in the dark.” Which is just delightful, really. Thank you, Captain Reese. I was truly entertained for at least half a minute with that one.

Joey starts to get dumb again, and asks Nat for another shot just as Ellis comes in to get him. Ellis is pissed, Joey is pissed, and Nat looks scared – even though she won’t face any consequences for this, just like she doesn’t face any consequences for anything.

Joey grabs her medical bag and heads back to the loft to get more blood.

Nick and Tracy are at the studio/gym/thing, interviewing people. Some dude takes some other dude’s costume, and they’re all “Hey, who’s that? He mends costumes? Big for a seamstress, isn’t he? Washed out of the sport, you say? HE’S BIG AND ANGRY ENOUGH TO KILL, I’D GUESS.”

Oh, it’s the janitor dude. Nick slams him against a wall, and they take him into custody, just as Nat calls about the Joey situation.

Joey apparently doesn’t find any blood, but he does find a Raven matchbook, so…he heads over there? Why?

Nick et al. arrive too late. Joey’s already freaking out at the Raven, thinking everyone’s laughing at him, taking a hostage of a girl who doesn’t look any older than he is – and he’s only seventeen. The bouncers in Toronto are just as professional as the cops.

Janitor dude gives a full confession, and Nick and Nat give Ellis some tap-dance about pills they gave Joey to help keep Ellis out of prison. But Ellis is all, “Yeah, but now he won’t look up to me. You don’t know how that feels, either!”

So Nick of course flashes back. He’s chomping someone, after already chomping someone else, and talking to all these passed-out chomped women, when Andre finds him, of course. Andre, BTW, has a terrible mullet, too.

Turns out Lacroix brought Andre along, because of course he did. Nick’s all, “I would have told him!” and Lacroix says, “Everything?”

Back at the Raven, everyone’s very quiet and very still. Lacroix comes out from the back. “Well, well. A floor show,” he says, and looks thoroughly unsurprised when Nick and Nat show up.

Joey lets the girl go, and he starts to calm down. He listens as Ellis apologizes, but then says he believed in Ellis, and then he kills himself with a knife through the gut.

Lacroix walks away, looking bored, as usual. “Oh, Nick, look at that. You fucked up again.”

In the coda, we learn that Joey’s still alive, still dumb, and has some random wrestling job. The end.

Next Week: Racists! Who know Reese! And are trying to get him fired! This will be handled with sensitivity and nuance, I’m sure!

Also, guys – we only have four episodes left.