Guys. It has been a day today, let me tell you. But! I am here for your recapping pleasure, putting aside my sprained toe and my weirdly-slept-on bottom to bring you cheesy vampire goodness. Let’s begin!

We open with sexy sex between some dude in white boxers (because this is 1930, I guess), and a woman all dolled up in a corset and stockings. She gets up and says she has to leave, and puts on a big ol’ honkin’ cross necklace. She lives in Toronto. She knows what’s up. Continue reading →