Snowflakes! How’s your summer starting? Ours got hot, all at once. Like, two weeks ago it snowed, today it was 90. Ah, Colorado. Never change.

We open on that same weird warehouse set we’ve seen a millionty times already. Some old lady is tied to a chair, and there’s a tray full of torture devices being fondled by someone’s black glove. Dude takes off his sunglasses and he’s got perfectly bland green eyes. “All I want to know,” he says, “is where is Catherine?” Cut to screaming, and then the opening credits. Continue reading →