OK, you guys, here’s the thing: I have read ahead in this book. I’ve been through about 5 chapters now.
It is so. boring.
Maybe I’m jaded. Maybe I study too much story structure. Maybe this plot just feels stale because this book is 20 years old already. I don’t know.
What I DO know, though, is that I have a beautiful bong and a whole bunch of high-quality flower in my garage, and that shit makes everything interesting. So here, thanks to the good voters of Colorado and the awesome folks at my local dispensary, is Chapter 3, enhanced. Continue reading →
So…it’s been a while, hasn’t it, guys? Yeah. I know. I’m sorry. Some stuff came up, and it turned out to be a pretty weird year, so…things fell by the wayside. It happens.
But I’m back in business, here to provide all your Forever Knight needs (that you clearly didn’t know you had, because let’s be honest: no one needs this shit, right? Right.)! If you don’t remember Chapter One, you can read it here.
SCHOOL HAS STARTED. Snowflakes, I’m so excited to get my house back. Not so excited to discover that MiniWinters broke yet another set of earbuds, so I might miss some pertinent dialogue in this episode. But whatever, she’s not in the house, and that’s what’s important, right? Right.
We’re on a construction site with members of the Village People as well as regular workers. (Seriously, there were some incredibly gay men in the opening scene.) Some guy falls off the building, and some of the witnesses say Continue reading →
Snowflakes! How’s your summer starting? Ours got hot, all at once. Like, two weeks ago it snowed, today it was 90. Ah, Colorado. Never change.
We open on that same weird warehouse set we’ve seen a millionty times already. Some old lady is tied to a chair, and there’s a tray full of torture devices being fondled by someone’s black glove. Dude takes off his sunglasses and he’s got perfectly bland green eyes. “All I want to know,” he says, “is where is Catherine?” Cut to screaming, and then the opening credits. Continue reading →
Snowflakes! I need a vacation to recover from my vacation. But no matter! Recaps wait for no one!
Schenke’s arguing with an Asian family in the reception area of the precinct. Nick comes up and says one word in another language – I’m sorry, I don’t recognize the people or the language – and they quiet down. Cut to some dude outside duct-taping a gun to his arm. He walks up to Natalie as she gets out of her car, asks if she’s going in to the police station, and then brandishes the gun, saying, “We’ll go in together” and holding up some sort of – noose, I guess? To control her? That seems like a safe bet. Continue reading →
Heh heh. Get it? Dying? Oh, the dead love their puns. Lucky for them, so do I!
A couple of rich women get out of their limo, and their limo driver is promptly killed after he tells the killer that, sure, he’s exactly who he’s looking for! Then there’s a really weird scene of some lady working out, and then the rich ladies are back in the limo and telling their new driver – who they don’t notice is new, of course, because they’ll name the help if they have to, but they certainly won’t bother to get to know them – to go to “Alfonso’s”. New driver doesn’t take them there, of course, and Rich Mother starts yelling at him. He turns around and Rich Mother freaks out when she realizes he’s not the help she knows. He drives them to a warehouse. This is all intercut with Working Out Lady taking a bath and then getting out, all frazzled, only to call Stonetree and tell him that there’s definitely been a kidnapping, even though she doesn’t know where. Ooh, a psychic! Continue reading →