SGRoA: Forever Knight S02 E20: Beyond The Law

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Mr. Winters suggested I make this the Judge Dredd edition, but I haven’t seen that movie, so you’ll have to settle for my usual Mean Girls and random internet meme jokes. Onward!

Some woman in a very early 90s haircut is getting the gift of a pearl necklace (snerk) (Do NOT Google that at work if you don’t get my twelve-year-old’s sense of humor) and then a massage with warm oil all over her negligee, which is probably going to ruin it, and I would not find the thought of ruined silk erotic at all. But it’s all moot, because she gets strangled, of course. Nice to see FK returning to its Crimetime roots, here. Continue reading

SGRoA: Forever Knight S02 E19: Curiouser and Curiouser

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AW YISS. I love this episode. At least, I remember that I did, and I hope that hasn’t changed. I’ll be recapping with Nigel Bennett’s commentary on, so you guys will get everything all at once. Let’s begin!

We open at The Raven, which Nigel tells us was an actual club in the first season, but is now a studio – though they still used the exterior shots of the actual club. Nick comes in and talks to some rando blonde, then goes on to find Janette. He has a day off because he’s had a hard week – three homicides.

This ep was directed by a guy who was a camera operator, went on to directing, and has apparently directed episodes of 24. My hopes are high, Snowflakes. Continue reading

SGRoA: Forever Knight S02 E18: The Fix

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Good morning/afternoon/evening to you, Snowflakes! Two recaps, two weeks in a row? I know. It’s like I’ve made this my job or some shit. Let’s recap!

We open during daylight, on a man in a car with a cigar and a piece of paper in his hands. Oh, it’s a photo. He starts drawing on his own face, and then we cut to Nick in Nat’s lab – like, not some lab space she’s rented, or a mini-lab at her house – no, she’s taking vampire blood samples in the crime lab. Continue reading

SGRoA: Forever Knight S02 E17: Amateur Night

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But not “Amateur Knight”, because Nick’s a consummate professional.

Nathan Fillion Professionalism

We open on a city playground, full of what I can only assume Canadians think gang members in LA look like. There’s a drive-by shooting – from a Camaro, because Canada – and someone at the playground shoots back, and then we have an ominous shot of an empty swing. A little girl has been shot. Continue reading

SGRoA: Forever Knight S02 E16: The Fire Inside

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Oh, Snowflakes. I know. This season is super boring. But we’re almost done, and then we’ll get Vachon! And Tracy Vetter! And Livia! So on we go!

Two uniforms are on the beat, and some dude is watching them through a – ventilation grate? Or something? I dunno. The cops pass, and the dude exits the grate. Oh, he’s homeless. Sad Panda. He’s looking through the trash and finds a kaleidescope, but his moment of joy is interrupted by another guy who dresses like a ninja and calls him trash, just before Continue reading

SGRoA: Forever Knight S02 E15: Partners Of The Month

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Snowflakes! I know I promised weekly recaps until December, but then I went to a conference. Besides, you know what they say about good intentions, and who wants to be involved in that mess?

Oh, and one more note: If you like my recaps, you should definitely follow me on Twitter. I live-tweet especially terrible Lifetime movies. Last weekend I did the Saved By The Bell movie, and it was awful, but I think I got some good jokes in. I will definitely be live-tweeting the Grumpy Cat Christmas movie, because that looks like comedy GOLD, people.

Let’s recap!

Ooh, we’re back to our Crimetime After Primetime roots. A woman’s getting ready for “bed” by putting on stockings, lipstick, and Continue reading

SGRoA: Forever Knight S02 E14: Baby, Baby

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SCHOOL HAS STARTED. Snowflakes, I’m so excited to get my house back. Not so excited to discover that MiniWinters broke yet another set of earbuds, so I might miss some pertinent dialogue in this episode. But whatever, she’s not in the house, and that’s what’s important, right? Right.

We’re on a construction site with members of the Village People as well as regular workers. (Seriously, there were some incredibly gay men in the opening scene.) Some guy falls off the building, and some of the witnesses say Continue reading

SGRoA: Forever Knight S02 E13: Crazy Love: Beyonce Edition

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With a title like that, I hope I get to use a ton of Beyonce gifs. Sorry for no recap last week. I’ll be honest: August is the suck. It’s not really summer anymore, but nothing’s started back up for the fall, and I just want to lie in bed and watch TV all day. So, basically, I’m hella lazy, and you guys suffered for it. I’d say I’ll try to be better, but we all know I won’t, so let’s get some recapping done! Dude.

We open on an extreme close-up of a creepy, creepy guy talking about how murder is just lovemaking. Barf. He’s talking to a shrink – Dr. Welsh – about his crimes. Dude is a stone-cold creepazoid, but Dr. Welsh is a consummate professional. Of course, she was talking to him as an agent of the court, determining his fitness for trial. She proclaims him Continue reading

SGRoA: Forever Knight S02 E12: Near Death: Stargate Edition

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Snowflakes, I’ll be honest: I expect to see you falling here any day now. Colorado’s been having a year without a summer, and today it’s dismally rainy and about 60 degrees. I love it – but I don’t know if I’m Coloradan enough to handle snow in July. In any case, it’s a great day for a recap, so let’s get to it!

We open on a guy running through a field – a sunny, be-daisy-ed field – to ominous music and heavy breathing. He falls, and then is seemingly attacked by something. Later that night, when the gang picks up the case, Nat can’t find any trauma on dude’s body, or any apparent cause of death. SpooOooOooky!

castle-ghost-clipart1 Continue reading