Snowflakes! How’s your summer starting? Ours got hot, all at once. Like, two weeks ago it snowed, today it was 90. Ah, Colorado. Never change.
We open on that same weird warehouse set we’ve seen a millionty times already. Some old lady is tied to a chair, and there’s a tray full of torture devices being fondled by someone’s black glove. Dude takes off his sunglasses and he’s got perfectly bland green eyes. “All I want to know,” he says, “is where is Catherine?” Cut to screaming, and then the opening credits.
Ooh, Nick knows the deceased! We’re immediately into Flashback Time, to a young woman trying to open a garage, and a “Catherine” inside, in her car, suffocating. Nick comes running out of a house and vamps out to open the door, scaring the brunette, and then we’re back to the future. Schenke asks if Nick knew the deceased, and he lies and says he didn’t.
Side note: the copyright on this ep is 1994. I have to assume that’s when crazy camera angles became a thing, because so far, every exterior shot has been tilted. Why did we think this was a good idea? Was it edgy? Avant-garde? Does anyone know why we put up with that for a decade or longer?
Anyway. Nick comes in to the autopsy, and Nat tells him that the vic was tortured to death. Nick says that MetroPD don’t know who she was, but he does. Her name was Madeleine SomethingFrenchIDidn’tCatch, and then it’s Flashback Time again, only this time, it’s narrated.
Nick met Catherine and Gordon Barrington in London in the mid-50s. They were close friends, who moved to Toronto after the war. They sent Nick an urgent telegram some years later, and he shows up at the house to have Madeleine open the door to him. Madeleine’s the brunette in the flashbacks, and Catherine’s the blonde. Gordon’s died, and Nick’s shown up just after the wake – the funeral is the next day. Nick has a truly awful pencil moustache, and as we come back to the “present”, he tells Nat that Catherine and Madeleine were good friends to each other – like sisters – and they disappeared without a trace shortly after Nick arrived.
Schenke comes in to tell Nick that they have a missing persons report matching the vic’s description. They go out to investigate, and end up at a psychic’s office. Great. We know how well Nick does around psychics.
The place has been trashed. There’s a young woman there, presumably the one who called in the report. She says she’s “Madam Natasha’s” pupil, and shakes Nick’s hand, getting a flash of the vic. The pupil – Ava – sits down, saying “Madam’s dead. She was tortured!” and explains that knowledge by claiming a vision. Which probably she had. I’m just saying, when the cops come to investigate, I wouldn’t give them anything to work with, you know?
Anyway. Madam Natasha – Madeleine – didn’t show up for a lecture three days ago, so Ava reported her missing. An old man came to see her before she disappeared and he and Madeleine argued, though Ava doesn’t know what about.
Back at the funeral, some dude named Jeremy is pressing Catherine about business matters and “issues before the board”. Catherine tells him to talk to Madeleine, but he keeps pressing, so Nick steps in and hustles the guy off. I presume we’re meant to connect Jeremy to the old man Ava saw. This show isn’t sneaky, after all.
Nick and Schenke take a look around the apartment, and Schenke makes clear – again – his utter disdain of the occult in any form. Nick finds a jeweled cross, but I’m not sure if it has any significance other than he can’t touch it. He also finds, in the bottom of a lamp or a candlestick or something, half of a photo. When he showed up at Catherine’s house in Toronto, he had half a photo with him, to prove he was who he said he was. So finding half a photo in Madeleine’s house probably means that Catherine’s still alive, and he’ll be able to use it to prove to her Madeleine’s dead, or whatever. He obviously doesn’t tell Schenke this.
So Nick has the photo in the precinct, and he sends it out to be blown up as large as possible. So I guess he did tell Schenke? Even though at the end of the last scene, when Schenke asked if he found something, he said “Nothing”? I…eh. I can’t even get worked up.
Anyway. Nick’s also got some business weekly on his desk, with Jeremy Stanton on the cover. Apparently there’s a big Barrington-Stanton merger or something – I guess it took 50 years for Jeremy’s plans to come to fruition? Nick claims Stanton’s a suspect, and Schenke’s all, “Uh, why? There’s nothing to connect him.” Nick’s all, “I know he killed Madam Natasha” and Schenke’s all, “HA! No.”
In the 50s, Catherine is complaining that she doesn’t know anything about business, and she can’t be THE Barrington of Barrington-Stanton industries. Nick suggests she let Jeremy take over day-to-day operations, but she doesn’t want to. She likes needling Jeremy. Oh, good plan. That won’t ever kill you someday or anything.
There’s a long speech about the war and the RAF and Gordon and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Oh, sorry. I nodded off. Then there’s some more complaining about the business and wanting to run away and then Catherine comes out with the buried lede – Jeremy murdered Gordon, and she thinks she’s next.
So Nick goes to the cops. To the very same precinct, in fact, in which he works now. Why a vampire would willingly get involved with the cops when he can’t control the outcome, I have no idea.
Apparently, Gordon died in a car accident, despite the fact that he didn’t drive. He was speeding and went over a cliff or something. Nick wants to know why Stanton wasn’t questioned, and the detective’s all, “Dude. The guy was just in here, raising questions. But we don’t have any. Now run along.” And Nick does.
We get another look at torturer-dude from the opening. He takes off his sunglasses and takes out a garrote, so we can safely assume that there’ll be another body soon.
Nick goes to The Raven to see Janette, and I just perked up. Nick tells her he needs to get in touch with Aristotle, and she thinks he’s decided to move on, but nope. He’s just looking for info on Madeleine and Catherine, obvies.
Catherine was right, though. The next night, someone makes an attempt on her life. He ethers her just before she gets out of her car, then drives the car into the garage and snips the lifting mechanism. He gets away, but too bad for him he didn’t think about Madeleine and Nick being around, because they save her. Well, Nick saves her, by vamping out and lifting the garage door. Catherine’s all grateful, but Madeleine’s all, “Yo. Dude’s a vampire.” Nick makes Madeleine forget, but he tells Catherine everything, and suggests that she can disappear, just like he does on the regular. She likes the idea, but she thinks if she goes, Stanton will have won. “Nope,” says Nick, “you can vote by proxy, and still stymie all his plans!” How, exactly, she’ll get the information she needs to vote at board meetings and still remain hidden is anyone’s guess. Army of lawyers, I suppose, though this might be a practical time for Nick to tell her – or Nat, to whom he’s relating this story – how he arranges his legal matters. That would be more interesting than this 50-year-long business negotiation.
Anyway. Schenke calls, because Ava’s dead. Not strangled; shot. Schenke says it’s the same MO as “Madam Natasha”, but – no. Madam was tortured at a second location. Ava was shot in her apartment. The only similarity is that they were both bound. I mean, yeah, obviously there’s a connection, and it wouldn’t be out of possibility to say “It’s the same guy,” but it’s definitely not the same MO, so –
Nick goes to see Stanton, who’s all, “Haven’t we met?” Nick tells him no, of course, and starts in with the questioning. Stanton claims that “Natasha” looked like someone he used to know, and he asked who she was, but that was all. Nick’s all, “O RLY?” and Stanton’s all, “YES RLY” and Nick’s all, “No need to yell. You under a little stress, buddy? Lost that big, half-a-billion dollar merger? Just one vote short? Ooh, tough luck. Have a good night!” And then he goes to see Aristotle.
Who is in a room full of computers and is wearing glasses. Even vampires have nerds, I guess. Aristotle suggests Nick could go to Alaska, and – Well, you know, he’d probably fit right in.
Nick wants the deets on Catherine, but Aristotle says he can’t give them up. It’s “the rules”, apparently. And in flashback, Aristotle brings up The Enforcers, even though we saw neither hide nor hair of them in that episode with the novelist. He agrees to do it, but he says that he’ll pick out their names and where they went and no one will ever know. And he’s not going back on that now – “You’re the detective, Nick. You find them.”
There’s a really boring – excuse me, “touching” scene of Catherine and Madeleine leaving the house, and then Sunglasses is telling Stanton that he’s found Catherine. Sunglasses wants to take care of it himself, but Stanton wants to put the personal touch on this murder spree.
We finally get to see Catherine, who’s dancing the night away with some old dude who has a truly impressive beard. I bet he plays Santa Claus all December. Too bad he’s probably going to go down with her when Sunglasses catches up.
Nick’s managed to figure out – from that half a photo – that Catherine bought the same model car Gordon had given her back in the day. Schenke looks up the DMV records and Nick’s off to Catherine’s, with Sunglasses right behind. Too bad Sunglasses doesn’t know Nick’s a vampire, and he totally gets nabbed and gives up the goods on Stanton before Nick tosses him in the Caddy’s trunk. Nick calls Schenke and tells him to pick up the Caddy, while he flies off to protect Catherine.
Stanton goes to the dance, instead of to Catherine’s house, because otherwise Ava’s weird psychic predictions wouldn’t come true. Fuck logic, am I right? He makes his move when everyone leaves the building all at once, and Santa goes to get some punch, which is apparently in another building altogether, based on the time it takes for him to come back. (Never. He never comes back. Punch-related disappearances don’t make the news, but I feel like even one is too many.)
Nick swoops in and saves Catherine, of course. In the coda, we’re treated to her looking over Nick’s photo albums and feeling guilty about Madeleine. I fell asleep twenty minutes ago. Santa turned up, I guess.
Next week: Nick is the Susan Sarandon character in Dead Vampire Walking! This doesn’t sound boring at all!Show SGRoA Post List