Who hopes this episode is all about String Theory? Anyone? Bueller? Just me? Well, okay then, let’s get to it!
Some blonde woman gets off a city bus. She is wearing ALL the 90s, all at once, and as she walks down the street, a Lincoln Town Car comes running at her. It hits her and sends her through a plate-glass window into a boutique window display, then the driver gets out and shoots her. Whoever directed this one decided that we should get reaction shots from all the mannequins.
Tracy and Nick show up on the scene. Tracy thinks the car “looks stolen”, which…okay, whatever, I don’t want to argue about it. Her dad calls, and she tells him she has to work. Turns out he wants her to transfer to the Corporate Crime division, and she asks Nick for advice, but he doesn’t have any to give. It’s a good place to advance, if that’s what she wants.
They go to notify the victim’s son. He’s an ass, playing his music way too loud, and he runs instead of opening the door for them, so they go in guns drawn. Son has fled via the fire escape, so Nick and Tracy decide to conduct a maybe-legal search of his apartment. Only Tracy’s dad calls again, and she tells him she’s capable of running her own life, which flashes Nick back to Russia, circa 1917. Because Rasputin.
I’m totes going to complain about this, even though Rasputin is an awesome vampire character. Now, I don’t know if he’s actually undead in this version, but the dude was poisoned, shot, shot a few more times, and then dropped in a river. One hopes he was actually dead at that point, but I’ve heard stories that the cause of death was drowning. I also heard stories he was stabbed, as well. Like, guys. RASPUTIN IS CLEARLY A VAMPIRE.
Now. If this were the first time FK had pulled this shit, I’d be down with it. If they – like a certain novelist we all know and love – had made some of these famous people actual characters, with continuing stories and their own motivations, instead of just making them show up in a flashback to help Nick look awesome, I wouldn’t be bitching so much. But COME ON. Enough with this “I’m a vampire, so I know all the famous people in history” bit.
Anyway. Someone – I assume the Tsar – is complaining to Nick that Rasputin is controlling the Tsarina, and the people think she’s going mad. The Tsar says she listens to Rasputin because he says he can cure the Tsarovich. Nick asks what he can do, and the Tsar says he needs a friend, but before he can go further, the Tsarina and Rasputin come in.
RASPUTIN IS CLEARLY A VAMPIRE. AW, YISS.
Back in the future, Tracy gets her ass off the phone and finds a letter from Son’s sister – Kristy Black (no relation), who’s a famous singer. They go off to the address on the letter to talk to Kristy, but the guy who opens the door – Dr. Ben McGee – says that they can just talk to him, because her case is delicate and she requires constant care.
Nick asks what’s wrong with her, and Tracy’s all, “Drugs, yeah?”, but McGee ain’t talking. He does let them in. Kristy’s watching…home movies, I guess? And there’s a table full of drugs nearby. Prescription, I guess.
Kristy doesn’t look with it. When they tell her her mom’s dead, she looks at McGee, as if he’ll tell her how to react. She can’t think of any reason her brother would run from the cops, and then she asks for a glass of water. McGee says fine, but don’t be long.
Kristy leaves the room, and Tracy asks if the drugs started after her boyfriend committed suicide – “Shot himself at Pier 5”, which I think is an actual dock, but, you know, it’s much more fun to imagine it’s a cheap Canadian knockoff of Pier 1 Imports and the boyfriend was just more of a modern design person.
McGee says that she would have had a breakdown anyway. Kristy and the boyfriend were both using; he just hit rock bottom and killed himself, while she got “help”. Because you know McGee is a super creep. Like, it’s not even subtle.
McGee thinks Kristy’s taking too long with that water, and goes to look for her, but she’s gone. Tracy and McGee go off looking on foot, but Nick uses vampire hearing and she’s muttering to herself, “Center yourself”, over and over, as she walks down the street. She steps in front of a car, and Nick saves her. Tracy and McGee come running up and Kristy’s all freaking out, so McGee takes her back to the house.
Tracy and Nick go back to the precinct and look up the brother, who’s also an addict. Which is why he ran: because police in Canada apparently don’t give a shit about helping people, either. Eh, just lock ’em up, right? Right.
Captain Reese keeps Tracy in his office to talk about her transfer to Corporate Crimes. She’s all upset, because she hasn’t agreed to move yet, but Dad’s telling everyone she’s already taken the job. She tells Reese that the more her dad pushes, the less she wants the job. Reese – clearly disappointed because now he won’t be able to get rid of a worthless detective – tells her that he doesn’t want anyone on his squad who’s just there to make a point. If she stays, it has to be because she wants to be a detective.
In the lab, Nick asks Nat about McGee. She doesn’t care for him, but doesn’t have any real objections. She explains cognitive-behavioral theory for us, but she doesn’t like CBT, so she doesn’t really like McGee – especially because he takes over his patients’ lives.
Just like Rasputin does. Nick tries to talk to the Tsarina about Rasputin, but she won’t hear it. Nick asks about the Tsarovich’s illness, and diagnoses vampirism. He doesn’t tell her that, of course, but he does say that Alexei can be cured, up to a point. Rasputin comes in at this point, and mojos the Tsarina – as, we can assume, he’s been doing the whole time. Nick tries to out-mojo him, but to no avail. Nick backs off.
In Toronto, McGee is trying to figure out why Kristy tried to kill herself. She’s mourning her mother, saying she needed her, but McGee says all she needs is herself, to be strong. He convinces her that she’s strong enough to do what she has to to survive – and more than that. He’s hard on her because she can take it. And then he starts the videos again.
Okay, guys, I have no idea what’s going on. We’re about halfway through the episode, and though McGee is creepy, and clearly meant to be a Rasputin analogue, I’m just not seeing it. He doesn’t seem to be doing anything hinky with Kristy – I mean, yeah, sure, the therapy’s not exactly standard, but this is Forever Knight. Why should the shrinks be any more professional than the cops?
Nick and Tracy continue talking about the world’s most boring subplot. No decisions are made. Shocking.
They go back to McGee to ask about Kristy’s mom. Since Brother went running, and Kristy’s too zonked to say anything, they ask him. McGee doesn’t believe that Brother would have killed her. He says that if Bro turns out to be the killer, he’d have to keep it from Kristy. Will they help him?
McGee goes to take some deliveries, and Tracy tells Nick she’ll take the transfer when they hear a gunshot and someone saying “I warned you!”
It’s Brother – his name is Matthew – of course. He wasn’t actually trying to shoot McGee, he just wanted to lodge his complaints about Kristy’s treatment. He complains that Kristy isn’t herself anymore – she isn’t anyone anymore. She’s just…blank.
They tell him his mom’s dead, and he’s shocked. I think. This guy’s not a very good actor. They want to know why he ran, and it’s because he had pot on him.
They hold him on the weapons charge, and Nick says they should tell Kristy that her mother was murdered, not just that she’s dead. McGee won’t like it, but they have to talk to her.
Reese congratulates Tracy on her transfer, and off she and Nick go, to the dulcet tones of the Nightcrawler.
Seriously. How much shit are they going to cram in, here? We have a murder. We have a shrink. We have a patient and her brother. We have Tracy’s transfer. We have Rasputin. And now some Lacroix, too? Can we have Vachon and Screed and Urs while we’re at it? Maybe throw in some Divia? A few more famous people for Nick to have known? Like, nothing seems like it’s going anywhere. Clearly, McGee is meant to be the murderer, but that’s not how to write a murder mystery, guys.
Oh, and speaking of Lacroix, he shows up in Russia, of course. Turns out Rasputin is Lacroix’s child, and totes cray. Not even a monk, apparently. There’s some back-and-forth between Nick and Lacroix, and then some soldiers come in and shoot Rasputin. Lacroix tells them to dump him in the river, and Nick’s all, “That won’t kill him.” Lacroix says of course not – but it will accelerate events.
In Corporate Crime, Tracy’s assigned to forensic accounting, because it’s not like that takes a shit-ton of time and specialized expertise, or anything.
The lady from the home movies is working late, I guess? And someone knocks on her door, then shoots her. Kristy, of course. McGee has been programming her to be an assassin.
AND HOW MUCH BETTER WOULD THIS HAVE BEEN IF WE GOT IT FIFTEEN MINUTES AGO?!
Think about it. Think about the bodies piling up, and Nick and Tracy having trouble figuring out the common denominator. Think about clues and weirdness and more scenes between McGee and Kristy to establish how creepy he is. Think about never having to hear about Tracy’s dad or see her end up in forensic accounting.
It’s the same caliber gun that killed the mother, so we have that connection, at least.
Tracy’s boss is a bitch, but she says it’s because homicide cops have a reputation for being “independent”, so I’ma cut her some slack. If I actually did my job, and did it well, I’d be fucking pissed, looking over at Homicide and its utter lack of anything even remotely resembling discipline or rules. I’d probably be a bitch to Tracy, too.
Kristy goes to visit her brother, since they’re dropping the charges. The weapons charges. Because he fired a gun at another human being.
She leaves her purse with Reese, which I hope is a plot point. Oh, wait, it is – she didn’t have a gun in her purse, she had it in her jeans, and she shoots her brother with it. Because, she says, he’s trying to hurt her.
Meanwhile, Tracy is using Forensic Accounting’s resources to investigate Kristy’s finances. The captain comes in to check on her, and Tracy’s a huge bitch about not doing her job.
She’s back on homicide, of course. Kristy’s money is all tied up, accessible in the event of her death only by her mother, brother, McGee, and one Rose Wolcott. Who was the lady in the videos, you know. Would have been helpful to know this, you know, TWENTY MINUTES AGO. Jesus H.
Nick puts on the headphones, and the soundtrack to the videos is all, “This is the person you must kill. You’re strong enough. Don’t let anyone stop you.”
Rasputin comes back from the dead, because of course he does, and tries to kill the Tsar. Nick stops him and stakes him.
Nick and Tracy find a video of Kristy, so she’ll kill herself, and then McGee can have the fortune. McGee comes in, refuses to talk, and Tracy cuffs him while Nick heads to pier 5 to save Kristy from herself through the power of mojo.
In the coda, Tracy takes a call from her father. No, seriously. That’s it.
Next week: Vampires get a virus! That might be fatal! That was engineered in a lab! I can’t wait for all the bad science this one’s going to have!
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